Finally back online and at daughters in Red Oak, NC ... progress, progress, progress. Soon I'll be in California, working, living with my friend Steven McEuen and having a LIFE....and loving that it, I'm sure. Steven is rather opinion minded and set in stone as to how he likes things done. I hope we do not butt heads! I butt heads with other strong minded people but with Steve I think it will be fine because he usually gets his way ;) like most men do. Steve has gone to great lengths to avail himself to me and I am appreciative. The goal is to pay him back the monies lent to me which kept me from dieing of starvation and living in a dark and cold house (in other words, he kept the lights on and the food stocked) a while back and I owe the help back.

When this is over I'll be back in NC and dug in again into a life I don't really love. I should just up and move back to Ohio! Troy is my first pick. Tipp City is my second. I would love to live there again and be close to my grandson Joseph. The joy of watching him hit a baseball or slide down a water slide pulls me there. But, the thing is, I would have to leave behind my four girls and Kyle (not to mention the possibility of seeing Carmen and Stefan again) so it is a difficult choice to make. Ohio is more peaceful. Lets face it: Pamela is more peaceful! My sons keep me upset with one thing and then another and I feel their pain and want to help but all my help (in the past) got them nowhere! No progress at all so I need to back off and let them do for themselves but it so so hard to do!! I want a good live for them and their children so badly but I must remember I can not give that to them. They have to give that to themselves.

I will miss Lexi (I already do!) if I move. Lexi made me feel like a grandmother again. And, I worry so much about Destiny & Abigail. I worry about their health! How could I not! Doesn't their mother realize how dangerous an unkempt and dirty house is? And doesn't she realize that my son can't keep all this work up? He's stretched to the limit while she set on her ass smiling like some queen waiting for him to cook the meals and clean the house. What a mess my son has landed himself in. I wish I could wave a magic wand and fix this situation for Brian as he works so hard and deserves so much more from life than what Becca is giving him. Does she care? I honestly do not think she does.

As for Kevin, he will come into his own sooner than later. I have high hopes for his success at having a wonderful life. I wish will all my heart he and Michelle could have worked things out but alas, not to be. Oh well...not my life but his to live. He'll be fine given time.

As to Candace...........a little upset at her housekeeping skills...........she needs a boost! I don't want to do everything because then her hubby would notice who did it and make her look less in his eyes so that's not good. How to help without being the doer??? I will figure it out, I guess.

SO, I'm totally over Mr. Shields! Now this is great news to my heart. Great news. I'll always have fondness for him but I don't love him like I did. He's spoiled my affections by his actions.

I need to get my fanny in motion today as I have lots to do before I can leave for California.